Hello dear friends! Sorry it has taken so long for me to post an update. We have completed all the baseline tests for Anna Grace and the tests came back normal! Praise the Lord!! They tested her heart, eyes, hearing and did a skeletal X-ray. It seems as if right now MSD is attacking her mind most of all. Her greatest struggles are cognitive, speech, fine motor and balance. She also has vision problems but it is not an acuity problem. Doctors say that her brain doesn't communicate very well with her eyes. But we are thankful that Anna Grace is healthy and happy!!!
I want to start with saying how much I love my Savior, my God!! He is so good and faithful. My dear friend Jodie planned a women's retreat back in March. The theme was "Trusting God in the Desert." She asked if I would come and give my testimony. I am always excited to share with others what God is doing in my life...and in this case, how He was carrying me through the desert. However, the more I thought about it and talked with God about it, I just didn't feel like I should share. I was wrestling with weather my heart was in the right place. I wanted to be able to give God ALL the glory He deserved for the love He has shown me through this darkness. I did still attend the retreat though. The lake house where we were staying was beautiful and peaceful-just perfect for the occasion. As a mom of a five year old and three year old, you could probably guess that there aren't too many quiet and serene moments (although they are beautiful moments, just not, well let's say quiet and relaxing lol). From the moment I walked through the door I felt so peaceful-so much that it was a little uncomfortable. Throughout the weekend, God overwhelmed me with His love. In the quiet moments when it was just He and I He reminded me of His amazing love. As I sat just thinking about the road my family was walking down, my heart would ache but them My Savior, my friend would soothe me with His love. Friends, when we dwell on the love of the Father rather than our circumstances we allow Him to do great things through the broken pieces.
As God was working on me He was also tugging at the heart of sweet Sarah. Sarah was invited by her friend and mentor, Carrie. **Side note: if you are a Christ follower, please find someone to mentor-someone to help grow in their faith**. As the weekend began Sarah was out of her comfort zone. Who wouldn't be. She was surrounded by people she did not know and talking about a God that she didn't have a relationship with. One afternoon we were asked to put our artistic ability to the test. Those of you who know me know that I am completely missing that gene. Anyway, we were to draw a picture of where we were in our relationship with the Lord. So, Sarah and I had a bonding moment because, um, lets just say she decided to use words on her canvas also rather than a picture. We came back together as a group and shared about our picture/words. I wrote RESTING. I truly felt like I was just resting in the arms of Jesus that weekend. Sarah wrote SEEKING!! Thank you Jesus for using Carrie to prepare her heart and for inviting her to the retreat.
Later that evening, one of the ladies led us in worship through song, chalk art drawing and a sweet message. Afterwards we began a prayer time. It started with a very personal request about a serious medical issue. And through it all she is TRUSTING the Lord. Then it was my turn. My heart was pounding and I knew it was the Lord saying that now was the time to share a little bit of my story. With tears in my eyes I began, it went something like this. "I know I seem so very emotional right now. I want y'all to know that although what I am going to tell you is very sad and breaks my heart, I LOVE my God and I trust Him." I read Psalm 40 (see previous post). I then proceeded to tell them about Anna Grace. I explained that after crying out to God, pleading with Him and being just broken that I said, "God, if we have to go through this journey, please make it worth it for your glory." I shared a little more and then it was someone else's turn. The last person in the circle was Sarah. She did not say anything so Jodie, being prompted by the holy spirit, asked Sarah if we could just pray with her about her seeking if she didn't want to talk. After a pause, Sarah said that she knew she needed to share but her heart was pounding so hard that she wanted to run out the door. Then with tears, joy and fear she began sharing...God had used the lady's chalk art drawing and testimony and the prayer time to touch her heart. She explained how hearing how much we love and praise God and trust Him while going through such tough circumstances makes her want the same kind of relationship. She wants to be able to trust God like that. She wants a relationship with the Savior. As my heart was leaping with joy for Sarah, she looked at me and said, "I hope I am worth it!"
Words cannot describe what I felt at that moment...or even now. What a God ordained moment!!! Only He could have written such a perfect story. In that moment He saved Sarah's soul and satisfied mine. Just knowing that the trial my family is going through played a part in the salvation of Sarah helps me see a glimpse of Gods great plan for my sweet Anna Grace. I want her life and my family's life to bring him glory. What a sweet gift to be able to see so clearly one of the reasons that Anna Grace has to go through life with this progressive disorder.
Thank you Lord for the extravagant love you lavish on us!!